As the WMUC Turns, Episode 1: My War (You’re One of THEM)
Ever wonder what it’s like to work at a real college radio station? Did you ever listen to WMUC and go, “Damn, these guys are fucking professionals. What goes on under the hood of legitimate, relevant tastemaker WMUC: a place that isn’t infected with dubstep DJs (much in the same way that NYC isn’t infested with bedbugs or Baltimore isn’t infested with rats)? Well, the marketing team at WMUC has devised a brilliant new broadcast segment that pulls you, the humble Tumblr reader, right into the college radio experience.
Introducing: As the WMUC Turns, a virtual reality daily/weekly/wheneverly broadcast in the form of emails that you can utilize to simulate working at WMUC. Here are step-by-step instructions on how this process works.
- Talk to yourself like you are addressing an audience.
- Plug an iPod into some shitty speakers and play Animal Collective.
- Read As the WMUC Turns as if you are checking your email.
Now you are just like a real WMUC DJ!
Disclaimer: The content of As the WMUC Turns is entirely fictional. Any nominal resemblances to actual WMUC DJs/staff is incidental and unintentional.
From: Jocelyn Rubin
Date: Wed, Jan 25, 2012 at 11:20 PM
Subject: [WMUC] Important: Regarding Stolen WMUC News Property.
To: WMUC Radio
For those members (and/or former members) of the WMUC staff (and I’m including DJs as staff) , you may have seen my emails before complaining about people messing with newsroom property. And you may have skimmed over those emails and brushed them off. If you are currently skimming this email and intend to hit the delete button, I’m going to suggest for your benefit that you read this email very carefully and all the way through.
I don’t have to tell you that WMUC is in serious trouble. I think you already know that. At this point it appears we are no longer allowed to select our own managers. The University of Maryland has given up on the ability of WMUC students to be responsible, respectful, and accountable. And I am not surprised. Too many times I have seen members of our station staff act in ways that are not fit for respectable adults, let alone representatives of a long-standing and proud student organization. In not too much more that a year’s time, 75 years of history has been tarnished.
This evening, as I went to check on the newsroom, I discovered yet again that the furniture had been damaged and in fact, a piece was missing. For those of you who don’t know me well, I will let you in on a little “about me” fact. I am only able to attend the University of Maryland because of several scholarships that I apply for every year. In short, I do not have money to spare. I earned money in the summer of 2011, working 14 hour days, 6-7 days a week. I donated to help WMUC close to $300 of my personal funds. The money was used to provide for a program at WMUC that would help to increase our notoriety and level of respectability on campus. More than just money, I donated a great deal of time building a program that had not existed at WMUC for 10 years. I had the attention of several departments of the campus community and several outside media outlets as well. The money that was spent on the news program was money that was intended to give interested students something that university funds and the WMUC station itself could not provide. A place where interested students could work on a news program that would benefit their academic careers as much as WMUC Sports has. That furniture was donated because I cared a great deal about WMUC, the people involved with the station, and the future students who would be working there.
When I see that property has been damaged, it really, really hurts. Words cannot describe how sad and angry I am. Because not only do I see a lack of respect for the station, I see every reason why it has failed. Because of the people (you know who you are) who walk in there every day who don’t care about anyone but themselves. You are the reason that WMUC is now in despair. That property belonged to WMUC News and the WMUC News staff. I had 15 students using the newsroom last semester and not a single one of them defaced, damaged, or stole any of the property. And they were the only ones who had legal access to it as members of that section of WMUC. There is no valid reason why that property should be gone. I never left the newsroom unlocked, only staff with leadership positions in the station should have had access to the newsroom with their keys, and there was no reason why they would have had any need for that furniture. Those donated items were for WMUC News and WMUC News only. That was made clear when the donation was made as well as the fact that the property was not to leave the newsroom.
Now, here is the important part of this email. It is 11:20 p.m. on January 25th (Wednesday). I am going to wait to see if someone can give me an explanation for why that furniture has been taken from the newsroom. I will say this: I checked every other room that DJs have access to and did not find it. If a station leader has taken it, when they should know clearly that it is newsroom property only, then again I rest my case as to why we can no longer choose our station staff leaders. If I am not given a direct explanation by tomorrow morning (and there may be a reasonable one, although right now it is hard to see that) than I will assume the property has been stolen. I will then give whoever stole the property 24 hours from this point to return it (meaning the property needs to be back in the newsroom by 11:20 p.m. Thursday night and I expect the defaced property to also be cleaned). Should the property not be returned on time I will do the following:
- Contact University administrative officials
- Contact University of Maryland police
In the case of university officials, I have a few people that I have worked with before, including the Vice President of Student Affairs that I will be reaching out to. In the case of campus police, I know at least one of the officers who I’m hopeful will be able to help me out, among others that I’m sure will get involved once the report has been filed. I will be filing the police report on Friday if the property is not returned.
Along with basic information about the situation at hand, I will be giving the officials I speak with as well as campus police a list of people that have the means to be responsible for this situation. To be clear, I will state again that this property was contained in a campus facility to which only specific people should have had access to. This includes anyone who had a key to the newsroom and/or anyone who knows somebody with one. I will also include a list of people whom I have seen damaging WMUC property before, be they DJs or those in leadership positions in the station.
And as a final note, I will say again that I have already searched the accessible parts of the station for this property and did not find it, so if it magically appears without explanation, I will know that someone had taken it and decided to sneak it back in. I am asking for an explanation and an apology if necessary (I say if necessary ONLY on the chance that a member of campus security or building crew removed the furniture and no one at WMUC). If a WMUC member took the property out of the newsroom, they are violating the request I made when the furniture was brought in to the station and because I was the director of the news program at the time (and technically still am until I am replaced), then that is unacceptable. If a personal apology and explanation are not provided, even if the property is returned I will still be contacting university officials and will still submit that list of names. If I have to, I will obtain a master list of all of the members of the WMUC student organization for the previous semester.
I will not be disrespected or allow my hard work to be in vain. I will not put up with this anymore. If any more of this property (my property) is damaged within the next week or so, I may have to take this further.
A few voice recorders were also to be donated, for use by both future news team members and/or DJs for conducting interviews with artists and bands outside of the station. That generous offer has been rescinded as it has become clear to me that WMUC is unable, once again, to take care of the gifts they are given as a student organization.
—
Jocelyn S. Rubin
News Director
WMUC 88.1 FM - College Park
